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Just Imagine April 6, 2012

Posted by Fritz in Yachts and other things that float.
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Technology. It has been what has propelled mankind to the next level of human evolution. The scary thing for me is the rate that technology is evolving. In the 133 years since the invention of the light bulb in 1879, the rate at which we have leapt to the next level of technology has grown exponentially.  In 1879 it took 14 days to cross the Atlantic. Ninety years later it took just 4 days to step on the moon.

Since that milestone, humans have invented a mind boggling amount of things that are racing us faster and faster into the future. The world is now so connected you can virtually communicate to anyone, anywhere at anytime. Google is working hard at developing technology to take mankind to that next level. I cannot begin to imagine what the world will be like in 2059—90 years after our journey to the moon.  I’ll be 101 and pretty damn excited to see the results.

Technology Is The New Crack March 8, 2011

Posted by Fritz in Yachts and other things that float.
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Update to my last post

It’s all Bill Clinton’s fault September 25, 2009

Posted by Fritz in Humor, Yachts and other things that float.
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For the past several years I have watched, sadly, the slow, cultural demise of the United States. Future doctoral theses will undoubtedly be written about the events that precipitated this change but I’ll provide the Cliff notes.

It’s all Bill Clinton’s fault.

A culture reflects it’s current state of evolution through it’s leaders. We only get as good as we give. It can be argued that America’s Cultural Revolution that began in the mid 20th century was spurred on in a big way by the across-the-board advances in technology that added to the overall prosperity of the United States. Huge leaps in communication allowed more information to be spread faster and further than in any generation before. At first the rate of innovation was slow enough to be assimilated by a sizable majority of the population. But with each succeeding year, the rate of technological expansion grew, exponentially, until it reached a point where it was no longer something the average American could take in on the whole. More and more ‘average’ Americans had to choose what they would commit to in terms of understanding how things worked. They would be forced to rely on others as the ‘experts’ to help them deal with the complex world driven by ever expanding technology. Thus began the ‘great information rift’.

So along comes Bill Clinton.  Highly intelligent, egomaniac, horn dog.

The quintessential aluminum siding salesman. He told America just what she wanted to hear…”Don’t worry, I’m the expert, I’ll do the thinking for you”.

Well, America got taken big time—by a man so consumed with his own ego, he actually thought he could confuse us with what the real meaning of ‘is’ is.

The hug

The hug

He confused a lot of us. So many in fact chose to accept his behavior that suddenly it wasn’t detestable.  I’m not talking about the kinky sex with Monica…I’m talking about the lying about it. When the leader of a nation can boldly look his people in the eye, lie like a rug and then get a pass even though everyone knew he was lying, the seeds of social demise are sown. The damage done.  Clinton tarnished the office such that boorish behavior, rudeness and low brow manners were suddenly acceptable from our leaders.

Bush’s 8 years were certainly an improvement in the presidential decorum department. Unfortunately the elevated level of Presidential propriety exhibited by the Bush administration was destroyed by the Press during their eight-year evisceration of the man.

So nine more years have passed since Clinton was president. In those years we have raced forward technologically, faster than imaginable, and the ‘information rift’ has grown ever wider. More and more Americans are having to rely on ‘experts’ to guide them through life. Our ‘expert’ this time is Obama…

Thanks Bill, you’re still screwing us.

Google’s gears got me gagged May 31, 2009

Posted by Fritz in Humor, Yachts and other things that float.
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I got Geek Fever and survived!

For about a week now my computer was sick. Every time I tried to upload an image in WordPress, my browser, FireFox, would crash.

I tried everything including re-installing FireFox…nothing worked. I was at my wit’s end so I took a deep breath and asked myself, how would my spiritual guide approach this problem.

yogaI saw visions of wheat grass and nut milk bags and heard chimes and gongs and everyone was holding hands and chanting softly, gently drifting in the collective current of love.

Well that wasn’t gonna cut it for this crisis…I was on my own, alone…my tech-savvy guru was off having to-die-for hash browns while I was starving for a byte.

And then it came to me….WordPress Help forums.

I’m not one for actually being patient enough to forage through the wilds of geekdom to find a thread from another techno-retard like myself who doesn’t know his floppy from his hard drive…but I was desperate.  safetyfirst

I’m not a Catholic but I crossed myself anyway. I suited up, strapped on and plunged headlong into the abyss:

As soon as I pressed the search button I knew I was never coming back…I could feel my temperature rising as the geek fever infected me rendering my protective gear useless. This strain of geek fever was immune to every inoculation I had ever had…I was defenseless. I was succumbing. eyeprotection

The very first entry in the forum held the priceless answer to my issue…I now had my cure but would I be able to make it work. I mustered every last ounce of energy and flung myself headfirst back through the electronic portal which I had entered just moments ago. Miraculously, I had enough life left to escape the clutches of the vile place they call ‘the forum’.

http://en.forums.wordpress.com/topic/firefox-crashing-on-clicking-image-uploader?replies=44#post-344357

I followed the decontamination protocol and proceeded to inject my WordPress site with the only known serum that could save us all. virusI shut my eyes as I pressed the ‘upload’ button knowing if this inoculation failed…all mankind was doomed.

What happened next was unbelievable.  A chorus of beautiful voices began chanting an angelic chord. Gongs and bells peeled a harmony so pure it made me weep. Everyone was supping a glorious green juice drink and my FireFox didn’t crash!!!

I’m so proud of myself…all is right in the world again.

The issue was with Google’s Gears add-on. I’m not quite sure why it just decided to start crashing FireFox since I had Gears enabled previously. The fix was simply to disable Gears and restart FireFox.

Mysterious Code Discovered and Broken in the same Day May 20, 2009

Posted by Fritz in Humor.
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Jagtag

Jagtag

Holy Hieroglyphic Hi jinks

I was out and about today sportin’ a new doo and feeling mighty fine.  Noon time came quick and I was jonesin’ for some sushi so I stopped in at my favorite little Chinese Hawaiian Oriental Westaraunt also known as C.H.O.W. and pigged out on raw fish and rice.  I regret it now but it sure did feel good going down! Anyway, I needed reading material so I had picked up a copy of today’s USA Today. Yesterday’s Today was old news but I like to be current so all the news that’s fits to print would be music to my eyes. Fortunately I was all ears when the waitress came and asked for my order. I honored her offer and was on her and off her all day…. It was during my second plateful of Moo-Shoo that I saw the future.

EZcode

EZcode

Right there on page 3B, just as plain as the nose cone on the plane that had just taxied up to the take out window; “New 2D barcodes put info at your fingertips” screamed the headline. Luckily my fingertips where already in my ears so I didn’t hear the scream. Thank goodness the article was written in English, second languages are not my forte. Anyway, the pictures were worth a thousand words so I figured I was gonna be there a  while. I poured another cup on Joe and this old dog set about learning a new trick.

PS  My fortune cookie crumbled before I could read it.

I’m on the case…more to come.

Technology vs. the 8-Track mentality May 6, 2009

Posted by Fritz in Humor.
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If ‘progress’ keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs except for the push-button finger.”—-Frank Lloyd Wright

I got a new toy the other day and I’m still trying to figure it out. I changed my cell phone service and splurged for a new phone in the process. T-Mobile, my new carrier, made it too easy not to upgrade to a Blackberry and all the joys that that entails. blackberry-pearl-flip The first order of business was to figure out this little bugger. I spurned the on-line tutorial and only glanced at the manual. The install CD had a step by step guide that seemed far to involved. I passed on watching it.

How hard could it be? It’s a phone for god’s sake.

Hours, then a day, then another day went by. I still couldn’t figure out how to e-mail from it. In the meantime, I had managed to: import my old phone numbers,  choose a stupid ring tone, accidentally delete all my imported old numbers and forget where I picked that stupid ring tone so I could change it.

I finally relented and called in an expert. My 15 year-old spent about 20 minutes and had me hooked up. Between the ‘Hey Dad, when do I get a Blackberry’ and the ‘this is way too much phone for you, you should give it to me,’  I  realized I had to do a much better job of keeping up with technology. My 15 year-old will eventually move out one day and then I will be forced to read the directions.

Before I actually owned a Blackberry I was publicly disdainful of all those ‘crackberry’ addicts; heads buried and fingers flying for hours on end. Now that I own one and know how to use it, it’ll take more than a twelve step program to save me.