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Another Iowahawk kneeslapper February 2, 2010

Posted by Fritz in Humor.
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T. Coddington Van Voorhees VII opines once again.

What’s in a name? January 31, 2010

Posted by Fritz in Humor, Yachts and other things that float.
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Where the Dolphin play

Has any other football stadium been as schizophrenic as the one the Miami Dolphins play in? Since 1987, the stadium has sported seven different names—the most recent happening just last week. Sun Life Financial of Canada purchased the rights to rename the stadium—Sun Life Stadium, just in time for the big game.

Wayne ‘Blockbuster, Waste Management, AutoNation’ Huizenga purchased the team and stadium from the founding Robbie family outright in 1993. The stadium was called Joe Robbie Stadium back then. In 1996 Huizenga sold the naming rights to the apparel company Pro Player- thus becoming Pro Player Park. The next year they changed ‘Park’ to ‘Stadium’—Pro Player Stadium. It stayed that way for six years until Pro Player apparel went bankrupt. The stadium’s name was changed to Dolphins Stadium. That lasted a year until somebody realized that pluralizing dolphin was incorrect. Dolphin Stadium remained s-less for the next three years until another corporate sponsor could be found.

In the meantime Stephen M. Ross had purchased 50% of the team and stadium from Huizenga. In January of ’09, he plopped down another billion and secured 95% of the organization. With total control, he set about selling the naming rights once again. Ross brought in Gloria Estefan and Marc Anthony, along with Venus and Serena Willams, as minority owners of the team. He also signed a deal with Jimmy Buffett for the team’s stadium naming rights— Land Shark Stadium after Buffet’s newly launched beer.

Stale beer...

So tonight the NFL’s Pro Bowl will become the first professional football game played in the stadium that has had seven names in it’s 23-year history. The Super Bowl is next week. I bet they can squeeze in another name change by then.

Yeah…i kinda do December 3, 2009

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Tiger jokes December 2, 2009

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What does Tiger have in common with a baby seal? They’ve both been clubbed by a Norwegian. (Technically, Elin is a Swede. But it still works!)

Tiger’s new movie is out: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.

Apparently the police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. She said “I don’t know exactly but put me down for a 5.”

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a holeinone.

What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball?  Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards……..

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.

Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger’s wife to pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger!

Amateur Hour December 2, 2009

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Hmmmmm?Pinched from Grouchy Old Cripple

It’s all Bill Clinton’s fault September 25, 2009

Posted by Fritz in Humor, Yachts and other things that float.
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For the past several years I have watched, sadly, the slow, cultural demise of the United States. Future doctoral theses will undoubtedly be written about the events that precipitated this change but I’ll provide the Cliff notes.

It’s all Bill Clinton’s fault.

A culture reflects it’s current state of evolution through it’s leaders. We only get as good as we give. It can be argued that America’s Cultural Revolution that began in the mid 20th century was spurred on in a big way by the across-the-board advances in technology that added to the overall prosperity of the United States. Huge leaps in communication allowed more information to be spread faster and further than in any generation before. At first the rate of innovation was slow enough to be assimilated by a sizable majority of the population. But with each succeeding year, the rate of technological expansion grew, exponentially, until it reached a point where it was no longer something the average American could take in on the whole. More and more ‘average’ Americans had to choose what they would commit to in terms of understanding how things worked. They would be forced to rely on others as the ‘experts’ to help them deal with the complex world driven by ever expanding technology. Thus began the ‘great information rift’.

So along comes Bill Clinton.  Highly intelligent, egomaniac, horn dog.

The quintessential aluminum siding salesman. He told America just what she wanted to hear…”Don’t worry, I’m the expert, I’ll do the thinking for you”.

Well, America got taken big time—by a man so consumed with his own ego, he actually thought he could confuse us with what the real meaning of ‘is’ is.

The hug

The hug

He confused a lot of us. So many in fact chose to accept his behavior that suddenly it wasn’t detestable.  I’m not talking about the kinky sex with Monica…I’m talking about the lying about it. When the leader of a nation can boldly look his people in the eye, lie like a rug and then get a pass even though everyone knew he was lying, the seeds of social demise are sown. The damage done.  Clinton tarnished the office such that boorish behavior, rudeness and low brow manners were suddenly acceptable from our leaders.

Bush’s 8 years were certainly an improvement in the presidential decorum department. Unfortunately the elevated level of Presidential propriety exhibited by the Bush administration was destroyed by the Press during their eight-year evisceration of the man.

So nine more years have passed since Clinton was president. In those years we have raced forward technologically, faster than imaginable, and the ‘information rift’ has grown ever wider. More and more Americans are having to rely on ‘experts’ to guide them through life. Our ‘expert’ this time is Obama…

Thanks Bill, you’re still screwing us.