Not So Great Art March 23, 2009Posted by Fritz in Food, Humor.
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I’m starting to worry myself…
Last night after dinner I settled into a nice slice of Angel food cake topped with a healthy dollop of fresh, hand-picked, thinly sliced, Florida strawberries that had been tossed in a sugary confection to bring out the juices. I drizzled the sweet, red pot-liqueur that had collected at the bottom of the bowl over the spongy cake and around the plate. Not quite finished, I delicately dropped a ring of whipped cream around the mound of yellow and red and swirled the end so it created a snowy peak crowning my trophy.
Now I was ready to enjoy. I took the decadence to the bedroom and sat down in my favorite chair. I turned on the TV and began to lose myself in the delicious swirls of taste that filled my mouth. Each bite took me deeper into heaven and I found it hard to slow my ravenous consumption. It was so deliriously delicious it needed to be eaten faster and faster. Before I knew it my treat was gone and I was left with a strange smear of red and white—like some child’s odd, abstract finger painting.
And now, with the dull drone of some inane program filling my ears, I could feel myself beginning to slip into a place I dreaded. A place I so feared that I mocked those who I had witnessed succumbing to its evil charms. Yes, I am talking about the dreaded….sugar coma.
It was Code Blue Alpha..I was in total arrest. The paralysis began in my eye lids and almost instantly moved to the neck muscles. My head flopped back to the chair back as if I had no neck at all. My arms went limp and in an instant I felt the last pulse of consciousness ebb from my being.
I came to an hour and a half later, the abstract art still in my lap.
HELLO, MY NAME IS FRITZ AND I’M A DESSERTAHOLIC.